What don't you like?

[Steve]

This is a very popular site viewed by countless directors and industry insiders who probably use it as a bible regarding what is going on in the European Porn Industry.

One of the things that has always surprised me is that this question has never been asked on here. I saw this question asked on a private forum before about Porn scenes and the results I used as a very good measure of what not to do when scripting for website scenes.

Given that so many people who have the ability to change scenes are viewing this content then why not state what you do not like to see in porn movies. Your probably more likely to purchase a scene if it does not contain stuff you hate.

I'll start off with the most popular ones on the post from the private forum.

1. Nutsack cam. People don't like seeing a big sack of balls bouncing around covering up the areas that are more appealing. Stop with the close ups on guys nuts.

2. False boobs. There is still a preference towards natural models over the "silicon barbies" (I found that interesting as the forum I found this on was a US one)

3. Spots and pimples on ass. It was agreed that a girl who has an ass covered in large spots, pimples and sores is generally not appealing and a turn off.

4. Over talking. Models who talk and scream throughout the entire scene can get irritating. Surely there is a limit on the amount of time a model needs to say or shout "yes".

5. Like a log. Models who just lie there like a log and don't actively participate in the scene are just a major turn off.

6. Silence. Complete silence from the model until the very end when she suddenly errupts into a totally fake orgasm is rather annoying.

7. Sudden scene changes. Sometimes a scene is building up to a big finale with the action getting faster and faster when suddenly the cameraman (or editor) changes to an earlier scene where the action is completely different. Way annoying.

8. Continuity. We have all seen this. One moment the model is fully dressed and the next totally naked with no actual striptease. Sometimes its worse and the model will suddenly end up wearing items of clothes again that she already removed. Show the striptease and when clothing is off.. keep them off!

9. Absolutely horrendous overdubbing. Tons of scenes are dubbed over to remove the models actual noises and rather strange pathetic overdubbed noises are added (that sound more like someone chopping wood than fucking). There may be a ton of languages in the world, but "uhh, uhh, ahhhhh"... is universal... keep the original audio during the fucking scenes (fine to change it during the non sex areas).

10. Scenes that are shot in dark locations with non adequate lighting. Okay, I understand the need for atmosphere and stuff, but this is not hollywood. Its a porn movie and we want to see whats going on not just hear it. We may switch the lights off at home to fuck, but hell we don't pay to see the same on tape!!

Those were some of the most common. Anyone care to add.

[Aussie Mike]

I also find directors who speak too much over the top annoying. I think the worst for this is Christoph Clark who just sounds like a weird perv.

And I agree on the fake boobs being a turn-off. I just skip those scenes now.

[dap-addict]

I also find directors who speak too much over the top annoying.

I actually like that once in a while. I like those JYL scene guiding. I provides a certain documentary effect. And I also dont mind a director being a perv and showing it. Rather on the contrary. I just dont want that in every film.

Apart from this I agree with all above mentioned.

One turn off sure to add is the studs face zooms just before he shoots it off.

[Steve]

I agree with that one mate. That shot I have always found a bit weird especially when you see it being filmed. Its actually done way before the guy actually dumps his wad.

Works something like this - Intro (the chatting, getting the kit off bit), Foreplay, Position 1, Postition 2, Position 3, Position 4, Photographs, Girl Fakes Orgasm Shoot, Stupid Zoomed Face Shoot, Cum Shot, Final Photographs.

Oh, another interesting and funny addition to this is the cum shot in mouth bit. Most of the models prior to that happening pop one of those wafer thin mint sweets in their mouth to mask the taste (you know, those bits of paper that are like explosive mint tasting).

Also, if you ever see a model looking away into the distance during a shoot, then I can give a little insight on what she is probably looking at. Its not usually the director or any of the film crew! She is probably looking at the monitor that is being watched by the director (sometimes its visible to the model and hell, they love watching themselves). You will usually catch their eyes doing this just as the camera pans out from a close up (and if the editor missed it). When the camera is panned in is when the model will be looking around the room and sometimes pulling really stupid faces to make everyone laugh (which generally pisses off the director, but he usually misses it as he is watching the monitor and not the live action).

Final bit, if you ever do a shoot and your preparing the room before hand a little bit of advice. Remove any mirrors in the shooting room as you will find the second you call cut... the models will zoom to the mirror like iron to a magnet. They are then generally stuck there for a while reapplying their warpaint (makeup) until they are dragged screaming and kicking back to the shooting area... lol

[gapelover]

I agree with that one mate. That shot I have always found a bit weird especially when you see it being filmed. Its actually done way before the guy actually dumps his wad.

Works something like this - Intro (the chatting, getting the kit off bit), Foreplay, Position 1, Postition 2, Position 3, Position 4, Photographs, Girl Fakes Orgasm Shoot, Stupid Zoomed Face Shoot, Cum Shot, Final Photographs.

Oh, another interesting and funny addition to this is the cum shot in mouth bit. Most of the models prior to that happening pop one of those wafer thin mint sweets in their mouth to mask the taste (you know, those bits of paper that are like explosive mint tasting).

Also, if you ever see a model looking away into the distance during a shoot, then I can give a little insight on what she is probably looking at. Its not usually the director or any of the film crew! She is probably looking at the monitor that is being watched by the director (sometimes its visible to the model and hell, they love watching themselves). You will usually catch their eyes doing this just as the camera pans out from a close up (and if the editor missed it). When the camera is panned in is when the model will be looking around the room and sometimes pulling really stupid faces to make everyone laugh (which generally pisses off the director, but he usually misses it as he is watching the monitor and not the live action).

Final bit, if you ever do a shoot and your preparing the room before hand a little bit of advice. Remove any mirrors in the shooting room as you will find the second you call cut... the models will zoom to the mirror like iron to a magnet. They are then generally stuck there for a while reapplying their warpaint (makeup) until they are dragged screaming and kicking back to the shooting area... lol

[dap-addict]

She is probably looking at the monitor that is being watched by the director (sometimes its visible to the model and hell, they love watching themselves).

Dont actually mind this too much. For it provides a good chance to hit her eyes with cum, to take her by surprise instead of having her close the lids and anxiousely wait for the cumshot.

[ubahn]

Don't like cock sucking every 5 minutes and pushing dick to deep, becuose girls don't seem to enjoy all this shit.

[Anceus]

I guess fake boobs and talking from the directory is pretty much subjective and in everyone's own taste but the rest seems universally annoying.

Also don't like the endless jerking off before the facial with the girl kneeling in front of the guy waiting impatiently. Just let her blow him till he's ready to cum. Still enough time for a good aim.

And the zooms on the stud's face are the worst thing to happen in any scene.

[superduper]

Claudia Jamsson has spots and pimples on her ass and her face and her legs and other parts of her body. She probably has more spots and pimples than any other actress I've seen. Also, tiny tits.

I guess she could have had her pimples surgically removed or even burnt off. Does this detract from her overall beauty, these blemishes ? A little, but only a little.

[Mr_White]

My vote goes for number 8!

This annoys me since I started to watch porn.

[wcup]

i dont understand why girls have to suck dick during scene several times, totally useless

[Cactus Jack]

3. Spots and pimples on ass. It was agreed that a girl who has an ass covered in large spots, pimples and sores is generally not appealing and a turn off.

I disagree. But I would imagine I'm in the minority on this one.
Flawless beauty is hard to come by.
But I certainly agree with number 8 aswell.
Even a bad strip, is better then no strip at all.

[sbando]

Gagging, now fully endorsed by glamour sites too.
It's completely unsexy to me, maybe because I'm an old fart.

[svin_renigoth]

i definately agree with 1, 4, 6, 7, and 9. they're all equally bad in my opinion, but i especially despise the over-dubbing of original sex sounds. although i also don't really like seeing too much man ass and balls.
oh, and, i hate the zoom in on the guy's face before the cumshot, too.
and i also agree with sbando on the gagging thing. throat gagging until nearly vomiting is usually a turn off for me...

[Mr_White]

By the way, .......

.......... very high on my list of things I do certainly not like in porn is that censorship-scissor, which all European directors/producers seem to have in mind, once they have been (exclusively) signed to an American label/distributor.

I mean, come on: Let a scene develop, the way it develops. If it leads to anything, which your American distributor won´t like or will deem obscene, let him cut it out of the American version, but make sure that you able to deliver a full uncut European version for those who do not like censorship of any kind.

justmy2cent