pagangod_uk wrote:You must realize that comments which are intended as being only''half-joking'' are not necessarily going to come across as this in a medium such the written word, in the future it might politic to emphasize any intended humour in a more explicit manner, especially given the fact that I was not the only individual who took exception to your comments...
Yes, it's more difficult to convey how a remark is intended purely in writing, when you don't have the means of a face to face conversation. I'll emphasize the humour more just to make sure.
As for the debate about Raul Christian being a misogynist (or not), well, I'm heard it said that sociopaths are very good at mimicking everyday, normal behaviour, so as to fit in with so-called normal society, so why not misogynists too?
Well, that is what the psychologists tell us (although the term "sociopath" is controversial). Is it possible to be fooled? Of course. On the other hand, it is also possible that Cristian is genuine. Either way, it's all speculation, especially when you haven't met the man in real life.
I think it's a tad over-zealous to label someone a women-hater based on speculation. And does it really "say it all" that he calls his company "Cruel Media"? I'm not so sure. I'd need more hard evidence to make such a negative judgment about someone.
My main point being that if one was so disinclined to being a misogynist in the first instance, it would very difficult for one to 'fake' such behaviour in even a performance...
Unless, of course said individuals are 'method actors' eg; Marlon Brando, Robert DeNiro etc(!).
And this is, I believe, where the error in your conclusion lies.
There are people, male and female, who enjoy and get turned on by things like BDSM, erotic corporal punishment, spanking, caning etc. I count myself among them, and I've done it both in the "active" and "passive" role. There are also people, I hear, who like slapping, spitting, pissing and other such things, although I don't "get" the appeal of those particular actions - but I acknowledge that it exists, and I see no problem with it between consenting adults.
To people who don't have that fetish, it all looks pretty horrible, brutal, degrading. That's because they assume that there must be real contempt and abuse behind these actions, that they are real rather than erotic play. It's hard to imagine how people can find such stuff erotic when you yourself don't. But the truth is that people who are into erotic corporal punishment, for instance, really enjoy it and have a good time, as strange as it may seem to an outsider. As a matter of fact, the more "brutal" and "real" it gets, the more fun it can be, in an edgy way.
Of course, that fun is not necessarily apparent in the scene itself. When I'm what we call the "bottom" in a caning, for instance, I'm not literally enjoying it - that's a popular misconception, that BDSM people "enjoy pain". No, actually, I'm in great discomfort! I had experiences where I thought: "Gosh, this is too hard, it's really going too far..." And I could have stopped it, of course, but I didnt. And in hindsight, afterwards, this is exactly where the big turn-on is: in going a step beyond your limits. For many BDSM people, that is a big fantasy. You need someone who is experienced and responsible as the dominant part, of course. But when you have that and when you know that, ultimately, you are in "good hands", it is the most exhilerating thing to go beyond the limit and to the edge.
My point is, when someone looks positively and genuinly distraught in a scene, even that is not proof that you are witnessing real abuse. It's entirely possible that this is exactly the turn-on they were seeking in the first place, or the satisfying part when they look back on the experience. The distress you see during the scene can be real, and it doesn't require "acting". But it may very well be that this sense of "reality" is exactly what is being sought, the acting out of a certain fantasy scenario. A girlfriend of mine put it in simpler, better words: "I don't like to be punished. I like having been punished."
None of this is degrading, mind you. Degradation and exploitation happens when people are being forced into something against their will. On the other hand, consensual BDSM, or rough sex, or erotic corporal punishment is not violence, it's the acting out of fantasies. Even though this acting can get pretty intense and "real". It's the same difference as between a boxing match and a real, violent attack. In the boxing match, people are hitting each other, too, sometimes to a very painful level - but it's consensual, and there are certain rules and safeguards involved, which makes all the difference.
I have the utmost respect for the women I play with in a BDSM session. I see that as a requirement, actually. I wouldn't want to play with someone whom I don't trust, whom I don't like or who I think doesn't respect me. It's all about trust and knowing that, no matter what happens, you are in good hands and everyone knows what they are doing. Safe, sane, and consensual. Nonetheless, the play can be pretty intense. I've dished out some pretty severe thrashings, and that was exactly what was asked for at the time.
The moral of the story is that people enjoy all kinds of weird things, and just because it's incomprehensible to you how someone could possibly find a certain form of sex or play erotic doesn't mean that there aren't people who are really, really into it. And even when they don't appear to be enjoying it during the moment it happens, it doesn't mean that they will look back on it as a genuine, horrible experience. Maybe the sense of "reality" of the play is exactly what is sought after.
Personally, as I've said before in this thread, I'm not into face-slapping. When it comes to erotic corporal punishment, I prefer good old-fashioned spankings and canings. But I had a girlfriend once who really liked face-slapping. She brought it up and would sometimes ask me to do it. So there are people who enjoy it. And they aren't psychotic. They're often very self-assured, emancipated women, and they're simply acting out certain fantasies. Doesn't have anything to do with real life.
And that's the whole point, really. There is erotic play, and there is real life. What you do in play has nothing to do with your attitudes in real life. Needless to say, I don't support real abuse or real abusive relationships. I think they're horrible. I've acted out corporal punishment scenes where I was a "teacher" at "school". But needless to say, I don't advocate real corporal punishment. Not only is it unworthy of an enlightened society, it is also proven to be very ineffective as a means of education. Then you have things like BDSM "torture sessions". A female friend of mine loves "interrogation scenes", where she is a "captured spy" or something of the sort. But none of us condones torture in real life.
There is reality and fantasy. I can seperate the two, and I see no reason why Raul Cristian or the girls who work with him can't do the same. If the "abuse" you see in those videos were as real and horrible as some people here seem to believe, then I really wonder why a lovely girl like Ildiko would come back to do not two, not three, but eight different scenes. And there are plenty of others who are certainly pretty enough to work with other producers and do softer material if that is more to their taste.
But there are people who like rough sex. You don't need to be a method actor for such a scene. And not a genuine psychopath, either. All you need to be is "into it" as erotic fantasy.
What irks me about this debate is the (to me) irrational seperation of certain actions into "good" and "evil". Most people seem to have no problem whatsoever with rough anal sex, double penetrations, double anal penetrations, cum swallowing or bukkake facials until the girl is glazed with sperm. But spitting and slapping, that's mean and degrading, right? No, it isn't. What makes an action mean and degrading is not the action itself, but the attitude behind it and whether or not it is consensual.